As pets go, fish are thought of as low maintenance and idiot proof . . . at least as compared to cats and dogs.   Basically,  rice and fish have a lot in common---just add water.  With pet fish you never have to worry about alienating your neighbors; when’s the last time even a piranah was banned by a town?   There are no trips to the vet with pet fish unless your dog eats a package of fish flakes; and even then, it’s not about  the fish!   Fish are not messy  unless your 3 year old angrily hurls a glass-shattering shoe against the aquarium.  Fish are not noisy unless you buy a pet shark, in which case you will get stuck with a schlocky, ominous musical score.

We at the Levine household would like to dispute the perception that fish are pets.  Our road down the path to fish mismanagement, that aroused Greenpeace’s interest, began innocently enough with the purchase of a fish-likeness bowl while on vacation in Florida.   The bowl would be a great centerpiece at home to a goldfish instead of the ordinary vase treatment, since we thought mistakenly that fish would be more permanent than violets.  Somehow the centerpiece spawned two thirty-gallon salt-water tanks.  We should have known that the  marine tanks would be our  downfall when the textbook for saltwater tank upkeep read like a NASA rocket science manual and the accompanying aquarium support apparatus resembled Jacques Cousteau’s garage.  We want to share with you the pitfalls of our fish experience so that you can successfully master the fish hobby and move up to a slightly more difficult pet--the ocelot. We will review our experiences from easiest fish environment to hardest.

In computing, beta testing is the final test to triple- check software before marketing the product.   With the exception of Microsoft, this practice  is done at all computer shops.  The betta fish is thus apply named because it comes well tested by nature and is almost indestructible.  A betta can live in a shot glass (up to 80 proof) because it can actually breathe air.  If World War III breaks out, the cockroach may rule the earth but the betta will be the  last  creature in  the  pool.  Needless to say, bettas are idiot-proof pets.  We, however, made the one mistake you just don’t make with a betta.  Don’t change the betta’s water over any area that has a portal to an abyss.    In our case we changed the water in the sink over a disposal.  We still have one betta left and a seven-year old son who will be in therapy soon, relating how his childhood was destroyed by his mother‘s carelessness.

Today’s tropical fish are not your grandfather’s guppies.  Today you can choose from angelfish, mollies (Dalmatian, sail fin), platys, the bottom feeding loaches (politician’s favorite) and neon tetras with their machine-generated neon glow (Hand-painted tetras by Flemish Masters cost a lot more.).  Unfortunately, all these breeds cost more than the doctor’s office guppies.  With all these varieties, it’s hard to determine what the desired temperature should be in a thermostat-regulated aquarium.  We assumed most of the fish wouldn’t mind living in Aruba where, of course, it’s 78 degrees all year round, except when one vacations there.  You have to constantly check the temperature or there are dire consequences, as we found out later.  You also have to run chemical checks on the tropical fish aquarium.  These tests are the same ones used to check the water in Boston Harbor minus the check for old syringes.  There is one thing that you absolutely can’t do when you are dealing with tropical fish. You can’t replace 50% of their water at once.  This is akin to dumping the Hudson River into the Delaware Water Gap.  Fish don’t like it.  We realized this tool when our fatality rate reached 40% after we executed this water transfusion.  You must store buckets of water to acclimate to the proper room temperature and try to explain to your dogs or agile cats that this is not their water bowl.

With salt water aquariums, you can recreate a gorgeous Hawaiian coral reef right in your living room for slightly less than the cost of a Hawaiian vacation. Cultivating the expensive coral, however, is no easy task.  Getting the coral to flourish and open up is akin to getting an early session of a men’s group to open up.  We tried the chemicals that are supposed to Hawianize the fluorescent light and the Belmont water in the tank to no avail.  A salt water tank also requires, believe it or not, salt.  You must monitor the salt content with the zealotry of Martha Stewart baking a deluxe Philly-style pretzel from scratch.  Salt water fish are much more colorful than their freshwater brethren, but they are more expensive.  I have made up an old adage about salt water fish: the more exotic and expensive the fish, the less longevity.

We bought such exotic fish as the bat fish (really looks like a bat), cow fish (head looks like a cow), Chinese mandarin (with whiskers looks like Zen master), lion fish (poor man’s piranha as it can bite. We tamed it with a whip.), and the ancient file fish (has survived for 5 billion years, but only three days in our tank).  We can advise you of a couple of improper practices regarding saltwater tank maintenance.  First, you must always monitor the salt levels in the tank, as once the tank turns into the Great Salt Lake, you will lose a lot of fish as we did; however,  you can bottle the water and sell it as a taste of Utah.  Second, constantly check the temperature in the tank.  We found out the hard way that, like children under 14, fish should not be allowed in a hot tub.  Since March, we have bought at considerable expense about 30 or so saltwater fish.  Only one fish, a wrasse,  has survived the few months.  The wrasse is a long, narrow fish, built for speed like a George Bush cigarette boat.  At feeding time, it rips through the water and gobbles up most of  the fish flakes with pac-man abandon.  The result is what you call the Dom Delaouise affect, which is the key to the wrasse’s longevity and its dearly departed  tank mate’s lack of longevity.

In essence, our recommendation regarding the fish-keeping hobby is that a computer screen saver with an aquarium picture might be your best bet.

Do you have a springtime fresh, clean smelling house?  Do you have a happy, beautiful cat that knows how to talk?  Are there diamonds in your litter box?  Watching TV ads can get me very frustrated.  How come my life isn’t like that!?
Forget the ads!  Work for Pet-Estrian Services and you will get real hands-on experience with all kinds of cat litter!  I’ve seen it all:  clay litter, clumping litter, deodorizing litter, crystal litter, pine litter, recycled newspaper litter, or a partridge in a pear tree!  I’ve seen open litter boxes, closed boxes, boxes in customized cupboards, two-in-one filter boxes, and electric automatic scooping boxes. There are may things to consider when choosing a cat litter.  How much does it cost, how long will it last, how will it smell, is it dusty, is it easy to scoop or change, is it environmentally friendly, is it healthy for my cat, and most important--will my cat use it or pee in my geraniums instead?

In most households I visited, clay litter is used.  It is easy to scoop, and cats take to it naturally.  It is easy to use, if a little bit dusty, and brands with deodorizers keep the smell down.   The problem is you can only scoop the poops.  The pee flows to the bottom of the box and forms a noxious gooey layer that nearly makes me pass out!

One family I visited had four cats and multiple litter boxes all over their large house.  All boxes but one had plain clay litter. The last box, tucked away in the farthest corner of the basement, was the only one the cats used:  clumping litter.  Clearer than votes in Miami-Dade, these cats were sending a message, "We like litter where you scoop out the poop AND the pee."  Actually, my cat’s psychologist says the clumping litter is best for cats that have litter box anxieties (Don’t ask.  It’s a long story!).

Clumping litter, however, has its drawbacks too.  Sometimes the clumps of pee stick to the box or the scoop and everything is messy and smelly.  Worse yet, my vet warns when cats pee a lot, as with older or diabetic cats, the mess increases.  Clumps of litter get lodged between cats toes and are very difficult to clean out.  Older cats and sick cats have less energy for grooming, and it’s  unhealthy and depressing for them to be so dirty.

How about litter crystals?  They look like gems, so glittery!  Plus, locking pee into the crystals is so technically advanced.  My cats were so scared by the loud crunching sound of their paws in the litter, however, they wouldn’t use it!
Aaaa!  Diamonds!  Run away, run away!  Forget the litter.  Maybe if we just scoop more frequently?  The perfect solution: stand by the litter  box  all  day and scoop  every  time  the  cats go . .  . or maybe get an automatic litter box. No more scooping!  Free at last!  Well, guess again.  One customer shut their box off while they were away.  My job was to turn it on and off when I visited. Why?  If left unattended, the machine would sometimes scoop repeatedly without stopping.  What cat would enter a box with humming plastic teeth raking across the litter?  What if you came home to find your litter box had scooped your cat!?

Fed up yet?  Is it time to put a lid on the box that filters the air, covers the mess, and forget about it?  No.  The animal psychologist advises you keep the lid off.  Covered litter boxes smell like port-a-potties to your cat.  Do you like using port-a-potties?  Perhaps in the future there will be a solution to the litter box problem.  I recently saw a demo of a litter box that hooks up to the toilet.  A litter box that actually flushes!  I am quite happy with the pine pellet litter.  My cats like it, it isn’t dusty or gooey, it covers the smell, and it is all-natural.  And I like my entire house smelling intensely like pine.  Really!  I do!

The Chinese calendar might have declared 2002 the year of the horse or the pig or more appropriately the bear, but at our household it’s been the year of  the margay.  What is a margay? A new brand of margarine?   Well according to our son Mattie, it’s a small wild cat that lives in the rain forest.  Mattie chose the margay as his animal to study in conjunction with the first  grade’s  rain forest unit.

Mattie could have chosen a far more exciting rain forest denizen, like the anaconda or the ever popular poisonous tree frog.  The margay isn’t even mentioned in Mattie’s WILDCATS book which is so comprehensive it includes a blurb on the Northwestern University Wildcats.  Something about the margay caught Mattie’s fancy.    Over a two-month period we learned everything  about the margay from Mattie. . . about 5 times a day . . . in encyclopedic detail. Mattie had a knack for  relating the margay to everyday life.  "Mattie look at the catwalk up on that building."  Mattie would then reply, "The margay walks secretly so it sneaks up on animals, and when it runs it can go  up to 11 miles per hour."  We indeed learned that the  margay is  a  small cat that has a balanced diet of rodents and berries (raspberry mouse?) and is prey to the anaconda.  It uses its  claws to scratch its enemies.  The margay is a little bigger than a house cat.

Mattie loves to draw.  He has a wide repertoire of subjects usually animal oriented. During the rain forest unit,  he was in his margay period.  At first, though, we couldn’t be sure of that.  We just saw a yellow cat covered with spots. "Mattie,  great leopard picture."  "No," an incredulous Mattie would say, "It’s a margay."   "Mattie, excellent ocelot."   An annoyed Mattie would reply,  "It’s a margay."  Mostly, Mattie would draw the margay in its native rain forest habitat.  But occasionally, he would expand the geographical range of the margay so that it was depicted at a McDonald’s, at the local playground; and even in our backyard with our dogs. 

After a couple of months, the rain forest unit  came to an end.  Mattie’s class had a rain forest  celebration.  Parents were invited to sample rain forest food which  was heavy on chocolate and macadamia nuts (Evidently, Jenny Craig has never hacked her way through the jungle with a margarine knife.). All of the class had on those jungle guide hats and tags with their area of rain forest expertise.  Mattie’s tag  said,  "Ask me about the margay."  "No thanks,"  Mattie, I thought.  "I’ll pass." And the year of the margay continues -- even after Mattie took off his hat and tag.

What do you think of when I say hedgehog?  The mischievous imp of European folklore?  Beatrix Potter’s Mrs. Tiggywinkle?  Perhaps, Sonic the Hedgehog?  Well, if you are my son, Jack, you think, "PET!"  Jack came to me with that sweet longing look in his eyes--you know the one!  "I really want a hedgehog!"  I may have a college degree, but  the most intelligent thing  I  could  say

was, "Huh?"  I’d read stories about hedgehogs.  I knew English farmers sometimes had them in their gardens (They eat slugs!).  But a pet hedgehog?  Never heard of one. 

About the time the song "I Want a Hedgie" hit our household top ten, I decided to search the internet.  Guess what?  Hedgehogs aren’t only popular pets, they are legal in Massachusetts, and there are breeders who sell them!  And they are ADORABLE looking.  Is my son always right?  Jack learned all he could to convince me he would be a proper hedgehog care-taker.  He read up on web sites called "Hedgehollow," "Hedgehog-o-rama," the "Hedgehouse," the "International Hedgehog Club," and "Meet Murray the Hedgehog!" He even bought a book, "The Hedgehog," by Dawn Wrobel.

Jack constantly lectured me on all he’d learned:  "African Pygmy hedgehogs, not their larger European cousins, are about the size of your hand and weigh only a pound.  They have soft fur on their face, belly, and legs.  Their back is covered with ?-inch quills that are pokey but not sharp.  Normally salt and pepper colored, they also come in chocolate, snowflake, panda, smoke, apricot, cinnamon, fawn, mocha, cream, and nonfat-decaf-latte (just kidding)."

Hedgehogs are friendly critters when properly adapted to humans.  Human interaction, exercise, and play are requirements for this pet.  They love to burrow in blankets, roam down PVC tubes,  and run on wheels.  They’ll sleep curled in a human lap.  When frightened or grumpy, hedgehogs roll into a ball--a very prickley and persuasive defense.

Solitary in the wild, hedgies are happy alone in a small cage-- 18 by 24 inches and 15 inches tall.  Give them a good bedding for burrowing.  Hedgehogs are nocturnal and like to spend daylight hours in a cozy dark place. Warmth is important.  They are clean, relatively odorless creatures.  Nutritional requirements are easily met with low-fat cat food, ferret food, with treats of freeze dried crickets and mealy worms.  AND THEY ARE SO ADORABLE!

Okay, okay!  We were ready to take the plunge.  We  e-mailed  a  request  to  breeder  Jill  Warnick

from Jill’s New England Hedgehogs.  Jill responded promptly with a friendly note, but warned us we were 75th on the waiting list!  Apparently we were not the only ones who thought hedgehogs made wonderful, ADORABLE, pets!

Months later, we were starting to think hedgehogs were a mythical beast like a unicorn--everyone knows about them but no one has actually SEEN one.  Then came the moment we all remember--the  phone rang, and it was Jill saying she had a sweet baby girl for us!  Jack was in heaven.  He had a name ready, "Hiccup."  He readied her cage, food, and toys.  When we brought her home, she became the center of attention.  She loved to be held.  Jack would take her outside for late afternoon rambles in the grass.  Old newspapers became hedgie burrows.  All the couch cushions ended up on the floor to make a play pen.  Jack’s friends visited to play with her and asked if they could get one too.  And, of course, she really is ADORABLE!

Pet-Estrian Services is now in its 15th year.  Hard for me to believe that my business is well into its teens..  The traditional anniversary gift for fifteen years is crystal.  Looking into my crystal ball, here’s a few suggestions.

-  Sing to your pets.  They love hearing their names in songs and other words that they might recognize.  It doesn’t matter if you can carry a tune or not!

-   Leaving the house?  Say goodbye to your pets as you would to any family member.  Tell them when you will return.  For example, you might say, "I’ll be back after your nap;" or you if you are away overnight, you might say, "I’ll return after day, night, and day," visualizing daylight, darkness, and daylight.  Give them jobs to do while you are gone.  Tell your cats to look for mice and to use their scratching posts.  Tell all of your pets to watch for the neighbors and/or the mailman, to have a snack, and to rest up.  Your dogs should know that they must "sound the alarm" (bark) if the doorbell rings or if any one comes on your lawn.  Tell all of your creatures to take care of each other and if you have more than one, not to squabble.  When you come home, survey the place and say, "Good job!  You took great care of the house and I’m proud of you!"

While you are away, send nice thoughts to your pets.  Don’t spend your time worrying about your creatures.  Pet-Estrian Services is more than happy to help alleviate anxieties by leaving messages on your home machine  for you to pick up or calling you at your vacation location to tell you how your animals are doing.  Ask us to do this if it will make you more at ease so that your pet doesn’t pick up on your nervousness!

-  Always brush your pets or pet them in the direction of front to back -- head to tail.  This keeps their aura in tact.  Okay, you are in hysterics now, saying "What a nut cake!"  I wouldn’t know if I "messed up" an aura, but why take a chance?!!

-  Having trouble house-training your pup?  Put some sleigh bells on the door you use to take "Rover" out for a potty break.  At first, every time you think he has to go, ring the bells, say "Potty Time" (or whatever you want to say to associate going to the bathroom with this activity) and take him out.  Eventually, Rover will tell you he has to go by ringing the bells on his own.  And then . . . If you have a dog that behaves like ours, you will be tormented by ringing bells at times when he doesn’t have to go out and just wants attention!  By the way, I haven’t met a dog named Rover yet!

-  Visualize the good--not the bad.  For example, even if you are afraid your elderly cat won’t use the litter box (because she has had accidents lately), don’t think about her messing on the floor.  Send her a positive message of her using her  litter box.  If the negative thought comes in your head, visualize a big "X" over it or say "cancel." 

-  Not feeling well?  Take a break and sit or lie with your pet.  Put your creature on the area of your body that is bothering you (Great Danes present some problems here.).  Animals have a gift of healing.  Try it some time.  It can’t hurt!

Haven’t visited our web site yet?  Please come and see us.  Each month we feature a pet or pets of  the month. Log on and see a picture of our four-pawed pals and some feathery ones too!

You can also request visits via our web site as well as  send  an evaluation  of  how things  went while you  were away.  Hit the "Services" icon and go to the end of the page.

To visit my web site just type in Pet-Estrian.com

Many of you have lost pets this year.  Our hearts go out to you when we hear your sad news.  There is not a lot we can say, but we do feel your pain and sorrow. The Levine household has seen companions pass on and felt that pain.  Time has gone by and we now can smile about Duchess and laugh about Stanley and some of his difficult behaviors.  We have also seen the demise of MANY fish in our fairly new endeavor to have aquariums in our home.  Some of you will understand that too is a loss, especially for our children.  All life is precious; lives with beings that have touched our lives leave a huge indescribably painful hole.

This newsletter is being dedicated to the memory of Zeke Pennington Marshall.  Zeke was a young French Bull dog who passed on in August.  He was in our care when he showed signs of distress.  Those of us who knew and cared for Zeke have shed many tears over his passing.

Zeke was a character.  He loved chasing after balls and could play all day if his human companion was willing.  He was a little dog with a big ego.  Although unneutered, we allowed him to try playgroup as he had a brother attending.  Logistically it made sense.  We called him "Little" Zeke because we have a bigger Zeke, an English Setter in playgroup.  But "Little" Zeke thought he was big and would intimidate the big dogs in playgroup.  The day came that we had to inform Zeke’s parents that he could not come to playgroup any more. When we described his unacceptable bullying, his "parents" were not surprised, and we all had a good laugh about it. 

As far as we know, Zeke died of heat stroke.  Heat stroke is a fever that is induced by high temperatures.  We all know how hot this past summer was.  Interestingly so, though, the afternoon  Zeke  showed  signs of distress  was not

one of our hottest days.  If an animal’s body gets too hot, cellular function is seriously affected and the brain can shut down, seizures can occur, a coma can come on, and ultimately, death may be the result.

Situations that can lead to heat stroke include fever, pets left outdoors in very hot weather with no shade or water, exercising your pet in hot weather even if water is available* and the one we all are sensitive to and have heard most about -- leaving our pets in a car in direct sun light even with windows cracked open. Young and old animals are more sensitive to high temperatures because their bodies are not equipped as well to acclimatize effectively; heavy "coated" dogs are more sensitive, animals with medical problems are at more risk; and certain breeds, like Zeke’s which have flat noses or short snouts that make breathing more difficult.

How could we tell that Zeke had a problem?  His breathing was different than usual.  He did not want to continue his walk which was very unlike him.  I have to say that the pet sitter who handled Zeke did everything she could (and probably more than I, myself, would have.).

She carried him home three blocks, had his people listen to his breathing over the phone, offered him water, took him to the basement where it was cooler, tried to make  him more comfortable putting a damp towel over his body, and then, seeing that he was not improving, rushed him to the vet.  She wanted to cool him off in a tub of water, but she knew Zeke would not have liked that and did not want to add any more stress to his little body.  However, keep in mind that spraying down the animal is another aid that can be useful.  If possible, a fan should be set up to blow on the pet.  The most important areas of the animal to cool are the inside of the upper thigh where the leg meets the body, the armpits and the base of the brain.

Zeke’s problems may have been aggravated by other circumstances.   His breed, again, is more at risk.  He was outside, though probably not running around, before we arrived, and he did have a piece of plastic in his tummy that may or may not have been a factor.

Zeke is survived by Buddy, a Chocolate Lab and older brother, three caring and adoring human sisters, and two loving parents.  "Little" Zeke’s picture memory lives on painted on the playgroup van.   We will all smile at the small dog that has left us with such big memories.

*Anyone who has a dog in Leader of the Pack Playgroup should note that we are extremely sensitive to too hot conditions for the dogs.  Cayley is religious about keeping the dogs cool both in and out of the van.  She hoses down the pavement they walk on, sets up more than one pool, and keeps dogs cool with water, even if they don’t like it!!

We were going to hire a consultant to create a special seasonal greeting message for this year’s holiday picture.   It was the same firm that determined that "Exxon" was a perfect name as it was inoffensive & meaningless in all world languages except Alaskan Eskimo, where combined with the word Valdez means "destroying the Berring Sea."  Unfortunately, this proposal would have overshot our picture budget by about 1.5 million dollars, so we are asking You, our customers, to decide on this year’s holiday message from the options below. 


A.  Holiday Greetings from the 2003 Olympic Unsynchronized Swim Team
           
B.  God Speedo on your Journey into 2003

C.  Happy Holidays from our Gene Pool to Yours

D.  Welcome to the Age of Aquariums

E.  High Tidings for 2003

F.  Wring in the New Year

G.  May your Holiday Season be Flooded with Joy